Q. What was the first experience you had that made God’s presence in your life undeniable?
A. I don’t know if I can pinpoint a particular occasion when God’s presence became evident to me. It was always there and gradually crept into many events. I became more aware with the accumulation of knowledge over the years. At first, in my teens, I would know that something was going to happen in my mind but ignored it as my imagination and some strange fears. I would be surprised and startled when it actually would happen. Then, I would deny what I knew because I didn’t want to be singled out as being strange with my peers. I kept everything to myself but never could forget it. The first most obvious and vivid message was when I was trying to deal with my father’s passing. I was dad’s girl and just couldn’t move on. I was frustrated because I kept picturing all the time that I spent with my father. In the back of my mind, the fear of one day losing him always existed and I knew that I couldn’t face it. The night that I was told, “he’s with me” is etched in my memory as a complete transformation derived from three simple words. The discovery of falling asleep immediately and waking up refreshed and content cannot be described. What just happened and why can I now speak about him all these years since without sorrow or fear?
Q. Why write this book now?
A. Even with all my past experiences, I preferred to think that I was one of many and God would not ever ask me to expose what I knew. He should know that I can’t do it. I’m not strong or knowledgeable enough to show what He has done for me. I was planning on taking all my messages and secrets to my grave. Nobody needed to know and they probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. Things like this must happen to others, so let them talk about it. Yes, they happen to other people, but I soon discovered what I was experiencing was slightly different. It wasn’t just any sort of special encounter but a lifelong relationship that had been created. I came to realize that God was giving me more attention than I thought He was. After three years of being called to speak with Father Steve, my life became more miserable each week but I refused to acknowledge it. I asked myself why especially he when I have known priests my entire life. I never felt compelled to share my knowledge with anyone. I now believe the answer is because he knew how to listen to me non-judgmentally. Otherwise, I would have gone back in the direction of inaction. I was very happy having God to myself. I didn’t need to tell anybody or share my surprise experiences. After speaking them out loud to another person, I felt more open about what had happened to me. Eventually, I felt that writing a book and deleting it later would give me a project to look forward to each day that I wasn’t called in for substitute teaching work. When I felt that the book was complete, deleting all that work didn’t feel right. I asked God to give me a sign whether to proceed with it or not. The next day, I received some income tax money owed to me but I believed was not going to be given. Some say it was a coincidence but the timing was perfect.
Q. How has writing this book affected your relationship with God?
A. I am thinking about God more than ever before. I desire to learn new things and everything about my faith interests me. I am reading and learning from written works and online sources. I also have a deeper love and contentment than I have ever known. You can’t really put it into words. I feel blessed and happy with all the gifts of my family and friends. I see God’s hand in creating all the beautiful things of our world. Unfortunately, I am more aware of the presence of evil in this world than I was in the past.
Q. What was the most difficult part about writing this book?
A. The most difficult part about writing this book was reliving the death experiences. There were many days when I would be writing and grieving at the same time. I had buried much of the past and now dug it up to look at it more closely. It was therapeutic in some ways but very painful as well. I can still see the faces, words and looks. Time has not erased those particular days and they never will fade entirely. As soon as I place myself back in the situation, it all comes to life again, complete with the sorrow.
Q. What do you hope your readers will take away from this book?
A. I want my readers to fully understand that God is not some invisible presence out in another dimension. He is real and interacts with us. I am no different than other people. I became convinced through God’s revelations and could never deny his existence. There is just too much proof. God talks to us and once again is welcoming us into relationship with Him, if we are open to it. Maybe I was meant to reveal this again in our generation, I don’t know. Only God knows what His plan is. I remember thinking that God made a mistake to have these things happen to me. He certainly picks the lowly, humble and totally uncomfortable people. I know that He dragged me out of my comfort zone.
Q. How do you think your readers will be able to relate to the experiences you share in your book?
A. The readers may not specifically relate to the messages and revelations, because many days I still have trouble believing them myself. Yet, I know for a fact that they are real. I can remember exactly all the details and specific words spoken. Readers should create their own unique relationship with God. I can’t speak for experiences they may encounter. All I can say for certain is that I created a friendship with God when I was only a child. I never believed that it would become what it has. My thinking was for God to remain my love and guardian. I always talked to God; He is a great listener. I just didn’t think that He would return messages to me.
Q. Beyond sharing your personal experiences, what do you wish to accomplish through this book?
A. I never believed that the profit from this book should be mine. I have a family and their wishes need to be taken into consideration. Yet, God created much of this book and I wouldn’t feel right profiting from it. During the first years that I came to Regina as a young student, I experienced hunger and how it feels. It is ugly not knowing if there is going to be a meal today and where it could possibly come from. I would be stopped while walking through Victoria Park by people begging for money. They had as much as I had. I would like to help feed young people that are experiencing hunger and don’t have money for food. Research in that area is my next step.
Q. What’s next? (ie. Another book, public speaking opportunities, etc.)
A. I wrote this book based on life experiences up to this point. I don’t know where it will lead but I certainly wish to continue with the important message revealed. There is no more returning to obscurity. My mission is to continue stating how God is real and has worked in my life. The messages will continue, I doubt that they will stop with the writing of this book. I visualize speaking in the future. If there is another book, it could be about God experiences that other people wish to share with me.
Q. Was God like an imaginary friend, while you were little? Children tend to have someone like that.
A. God was never an imaginary friend. He was always real to me. I pretended that people were my imaginary friends and visitors. Whenever I walked and talked with God, I sort of felt a loving presence surrounding me. That’s why I always wanted to do it. It was a unique, special feeling. The shock during my car accident pulled me into the feeling of love and I immediately thought of God.
Q. What are the “knowings” like?
A. A “knowing” is like somebody telling you something and then walking away. You have the clear message in your mind that you know is real, but can’t really prove it. The words spoken as a message are very clear in my mind as well. The speaker feels kind but very definite and authoritative. The voice is not distinct. Yet, it is profound in my memory.